A Little Bundle of Contradictions

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Do you know why fireworks are so beautiful?

"Fireworks are beautiful because they are short-lived. They bloom brightly in the sky for that certain moment and die even before you can imprint the image into your mind. Before you know it, it’s all over and you realize that you cannot remember how each firework looked like. But all you know is, they were all beautiful. Sadly beautiful.”

I just had to post this. As a closure, perhaps. I am indeed moving out. xP I'm making a chronicle of my med student life, and this place is just too cluttered for it, I suppose. And the new year's the best time for starting, well, anew. So there, fireworks. It really isn't connected with anything, but I found it quite profound (and unequivocally true) so I posted it.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Labels: beauty, fireworks, something profound and irrevocably true

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I'm Moving Out!

It's amazing how this blog is nearing its third birthday. I've thought of deleting this nonsense more than I've found reasons to keep it up. And I'm thinking of.. moving out. Pfft. Kidding. But seriously, I've been blog-hopping since my busy day has mellowed down and I'm finding that LJ is actually cuter and has a more blog-y environment. Blogger is absolutely DIY and has a do-whatever-you-please layout (which I adore most of the time, except now). Anyway, I won't delete it. Nein. Never. Not until Blogger crashes. Hahaha.

I'm the person who scribbles anecdotes, to-do lists, homeworks, teachers' speeches, lyrics, feelings-of-the-moment (yep, silly), and doodles mostly on my ever-so-reliable hand and on random pieces of scratch paper that I, more often than not, lose. And this blog has been what, my savior. It's been accepting and hearing my thoughts despite them being silly, weird, random, emotional, trivial and what-not. Hey, my title's a little bundle of contradictions. No one can blame me. xP Anyway, as if this blog had a choice, eh? Nevertheless. (I love this word :P ) It has been everything that I needed, only it doesn't talk back - like a friend. When I read back everything now (there's actually a thing called archives, which is incredible), I see clear mental pictures of what I was experiencing and feeling at those times. As I've said, I've made it a running memoir and also a confidante. Often, when I'm able to say or write it, whatever that thought or feeling instantly becomes clear and not jumbled up in my forever-confused head.

Of course, there are things that I don't confess here. I believe that's quite normal. There will always be certain thoughts that I can't publicize. Often, because I just can't sort them out enough to write a coherent post. Hahahaha.

Anywaaay, that was quite a long intro for this thing I got tagged for.

Rules of the game:
- Choose a singer/band/group
- Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group

I have chosen:

I'd have chosen Switchfoot for all the world, but their titles make no sense (Oh! Gravity?)
So hmm, Lifehouse.

1. Are you male or female?
OMG! Somewhere in Between! =))

2. Describe yourself.
Storm. HAHAHAHA.

3. What do people feel when they're around you?
We'll Never Know =))

4. How would you describe your previous relationship?
Trying to Find My Way. Nope, never been in one.

5. Describe your current relationship.
Blind. HAHAHAHA. Stupid, never been in oooonnnnee.

6. Where would you want to be now?
Take Me Away. Hmm, anywhere? xP

7. How do you feel about love?
You Belong to Me. What? Hey, that's a really good song. xP

8. What's your life like?
Whatever It Takes. XD

9. What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Everything. Hey, that's the title. :))

10. Say something wise.
Days Go By. True enough. :P

It's almost Christmas. It feels as if it will just pass. I hope not. Anyway, I hope my cards arrive on time. XD

Then again, I might want a new URL, and perhaps a self-made layout. xP

Labels: life, the universe and everything equals 42

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Meron akong bagong books! Hahaha. Happiness. Isa dun entitled, The (Reluctant, Nervous, Lazy, Broke, Busy, Confused) College Student's Cookbook, by Joshua Lambert. Grabe, it is enormously amusing. Binili ko siya supposedly as a gift for someone - hindi ko pa alam except para dun sa mga nakatira sa condo, sina Kim, Albert, Treng, Angel, or sa Kuya ko. Kaso nadecide ko na hindi ko na siya mabibigay kaya inangkin ko na lang. xP And then, who would have thought na hahawak ako ng cookbook. Tinatawanan nga ako ng little brother ko e. XD Pero, grabe talaga ang marunong magsulat. Joshua Lambert was an English major in Harvard and a writer for the Harvard Lampoon. Na-engage ako agad kahit about cooking yung book. At sobrang entertaining din kasi nung writing style. XP

Anyway, walang silbi yung book kung di ko siya gagamitin. Nung inannounce ko ang aking intention na gumawa ng egg salad, tinawanan nila ako. Hmmmfff. Yun kasi ata yung pinakamadali dun besides mashed potato and french toast. Hmf hmf hmf. I will show them!

Eggs. Mayo. Yun lang. Hindi naman siguro ako papalkpak sa dali nito. Mwahahaha. Kaso, mali pala ako. Nung una, okay naman. Water sa pan, konting salt. Kaso, nung nilabas ko na yung eggs from the fridge, nag-slip sila bigla sa kamay ko, and crack! Tadaa, may tatlong raw eggs sa rag na kailangan ko ngayon linisin. I can hear my mum and Raffy laughing from the living room.

>:( Bwiset.

Pero, tuloy pa rin ang endeavor ko! So, new eggs. This time I was absolutely careful. Grabe, mukha akong ewan. Anyway, boil boil boil. Ten minutes. Magbabasa muna ako ulit. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty. Page 35 na ko sa biography ni Anne Frank. Hindi ko alam, tumatapon na yung tubig sa pan at nagbboil violently na yung natitirang tubig. Narinig ko na lang may nagssplash na tubig. Grabe, ang stupid ko talaga. Maghhard-boil lang ng itlog, for heaven's sake.

Ngayon na nalinis ko na and all yung mess, hinihintay ko na lang lumamig yung eggs. Sana wala nang disaster na maganap mamaya sa kitchen, kapag hinalo ko na sa mayo yung eggs. HAHAHAHA.

Labels: cooking, egg salad, hopeless endeavor

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I'm only ONE kid!

HAHAHA. Kanina ko pa yan gusto isigaw sa mga tao.

Iisa lang katawan ko! Masyado nang busy ang sked ko bukaaaaas. Isa-isa lang! Kamon. HAHAHAHA. Shet ang kapal ko.

Kaninang hapon, umiiyak ako sa YM. Grabe, drama talaga.

Ayan, ipopost ko na rin.

"Ang weird ng feeling na.. I'm one of the last to know."

"Ayaw mo ba sa akin? or hindi mo ko trust?"

"Baka lang kasi.. ang far away mo..at di na kita nakikita.."

Ngayon naman, tawa ako ng tawa. Aylabyu all. Mwehehehe. Pero, parang may part sa akin na ayaw makita ang mga tao. Parang safe na ko sa Manila e. Pero syempre, mas malaking part ang naeexcite.. sa libre ni Lendl. Mwehehehe. Joke. xP

Ay eto pala kasi kausap ko si Jestine ngayon(haha!), parating nag-eend sa "Asan ka?" yung usapan namin ni Non pag pumupunta siya dito. Ang funny. Never kami nagkita kahit three/four times na siyang andito in two weeks. XD

Salamat! Christmas break na! Hooraaaaay. Kaso, sabi nga ni Raph, hindi pa rin nya alam kung makakuha siya ng complete hours of sleep ngayong break. :))

I am the angel of happiness, sabi ni Albert. :P Wahahaha. I'm presently radiating with happiness! XD OMG, I forgot! Bumili na kami ng Sanuk! Sanuk = Happiness in Thai. This is a wonderful day! Ang ganda pa ng weather! Hahahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANA BALISBIS! in what, an hour? YAAAYY. XD

Labels: christmas break, lantern parade, UP Diliman

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Patay na si Cerio.

Siya yung alagang hamster ng roommates ko. Grabe, naghhysterical silang tatlo kahapon kasi natutulala at nangingisay na si Cerio. At grabe din, buong araw kong tintry mag-aral ng Zoo, kaso squeak ng squeak yung "roller coaster" nung hamster. Actually may cycle ang kanyang precious life - tatakbo siya dun sa umiikot na thing for mga one minute, tapos mapapagod siya at iinom, tapos tatakbo ulit, tapos iinom ulit. Yun ang story ng kanyang hamster life. Wala siyang MariMar, I'm so sorry. Iritang-irita ako sa sound ng kanyang treadmill na tinatakbuhan nya every minute or so. Grabe! Pero ngayon ay wala na siya. Wala na ang kanyang very exciting na pagtakbo dun sa treadmill thingy. Hindi ko alam kung san siya nilibing. Aw, me so sad.

Nagppost lang ako ng random kasi in the next few days ZOMBIE mode na ako. May Zoology at Calculus exams next week at good luck sa aking three-day (or less) review. After non, celebrations! Lantern Parade! And then, vacation!~ Yaaaay.

P.S. Biggest full moon of the year nga pala bukas. Makikita ko kaya ang footprint ni Neil Armstrong? At may Geminids din sa weekend. Mahal ako ng sky this year. :)

Labels: cerio, hamster, math 100, zombie, zoology exam

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I Wish I Could Fall Like Marta

I've been meaning to write about a lot of stuff since forever, but I've been busy busy busy. And some things are just meant to be be kept inside one's own head. Something like intrapersonal communication. And also because I'm waiting for something to tell that's a little bit profound and insightful and quite out of the ordinary teenage girl's school day. Which so far has been nothing but hopeless. xP

Nevertheless, I need to write. I need to share what I'm finding very insightful and interesting. We've so far discussed Hit and Run by I-forgot-who, Araby by James Joyce, A Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe, and The Falling Girl by Dino Buzzati in Hum1 and I'm learning a great deal. My notes are just scribbles and doodles (because MC talks and discusses really slowly!) but I make it a point to write the important and heuristic and witty (and funny) things she says. I want to scan my notes and post it here because they can mean a lot of things, really. They are actually my thoughts at that particular time, and it feels kind of awkward that Vien stares into my notebook every minute or so.

The random words and doodles are representations of my understanding of the story and the drawings are what I'll remember most about these stories (and later, poems). My notes for Araby, for instance, say "chaste," "I bore my chalice through a throng of foes," "hypocrisy," "perpetual struggle," and "disenchantment." For a Tell-Tale Heart, an eye and a heart is there. For the Falling Girl, a ticking clock and a sunset. This is how I both want to understand the stories and how I actually did understand them.

I believe I'm going in circles. I just needed to record here that Hum1 is being very very interesting for me, more so because it is about literature. Good thing she's changing some of the selections so that there are new things that I/we haven't read before. This subject remains to be the most stress-free, most effortless subject and the most enjoyable at that. But Zoology Lecture is keeping up. I'm loving Prof.Rubite. xP

I should be studying for a Chem Lec report tomorrow, but here I am. I'm indeed hopeless.

Seventeen days till Christmas! I'm kept firm by the cool Christmas breeze and the wonderful blinking lights! :)

Labels: Hum1, lazy lazy, The Falling Girl

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Tao Rin Pala Kami sa Medisina

Either may nagsabi sa akin or na-overhear ko or nabasa ko or lesson siya sa Hum or Comm.

Mahirap daw isulat ang happiness. Yes, happiness. Hindi mo na nga macontain, isusulat mo pa. And often, words aren't articulate enough. They just come as understatements of the real feeling. I, myself, can't imagine being moved by someone's happiness written down.

Kaya, corollary, mas madami daw emo and sad blogs. Mas madali raw magsulat when you're miserable, gloomy, rejected, dejected, angry and what-nots. Michelle Branch herself said that she writes better when she's unhappy.

Kaya.. sasabihin ko lang.

Tao Rin Pala is happiness. It is entertaining. It is heuristic. It is insightful. It is inspiration.

Celebrating the humanity of medicine. At centennial celebration pa. It was indeed, indeed! a night of magic. (Disregarding our utterly humiliating performance and last-minute Jasmine costumes) I was particularly moved by the original composition of Class 2012, batch nina Ate Gina, Kuya Mike, etc. Title nya, The OSCE Song. Ippost ko later yung lyrics when I'm less muddled and giddy. Ang ganda. Sinabi ni Ate Gluon 05 na sinulat siya ng isang classmate when they were actually having an OSCE (I just Wikied it - it's Objective Structured Clinical Examination). Maganda din yung TRP winner last year - "Paglalakbay." Medyo naiiyak ako ngayon kasi ang ganda ng message at ang galing ng Medchoir. Rinecord ko sya at pinapakinggan/pinapanood ko ngayon.

And, just a few days before, nagpponder sina (hindi ako) Patreng at Albert kung magsshift sila to openings in MBB. And then, here was the answer.

"Sa Medisina" by 2013

"The OSCE Song" by 2012

"Paglalakbay" by MedChoir

I never thought a day that started out as nothing but rotten would end up like this.

I am so looking forward to making and singing compositions from our hearts in Tao Rin Pala. So there, six more TRPs to watch and enjoy. And I'm sure, five of them to cherish.

Labels: centennial, College of Medicine, happiness, insightful, Tao Rin Pala

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Nakangiti ang Langit

Nakangiti nga ang sky! Ang gandaaaaa! Earthshine! :)

Kaso, hatehatehate Manila. Light pollution! Overcast pa kanina!

A carbon-based bipedal lifeform descended from an ape! Nyek, corny.

I'm a mere bundle of contradictions who loves:
Literature
Classical Music
Astronomy
Books
Friends
Writing
Nature
Life!

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Popolin
Popo LJ
Angel
Aly Dear
Nikye
Aaron bading
Yssa-chan
Kring-Reinier Fans Club
HAHAHAHA.

IMSLP Music Library
Masaya sundan ang notation na di mo kaya gawin. HAHAHAHA.

Ano pa ba? :-/

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